One Year Since Meeting Grayson

We had just gotten off the plane in Taipei on November 5, 2012 and we're walking down the hallway as we are about to enter the actual airport and we read a sign that says, "Drug Trafficking Punishable by Death." That was something you didn't see everyday. For the first time, I wondered at that instant, if this journey was going to be worth it?

The night we met Grayson. 

 Right then, I didn't know what the next 3 months or so would be like. I didn't know the hardships that would follow. I didn't know the extent of the waiting. I didn't know how many times our papers would be lost. I didn't know I'd have to go 3 months with only Skyping with Lindsay and no actual hugs. I didn't know anything that would have happened.  I didn't know...a lot.

But I also didn't know the amazingness that would happen as well. I've talked to a lot of people about our adoption. Typically, there is usually a conversation that answers this question: "So, I always hear how hard adoptions are. Was your's really hard?" I give them a quick rundown because most people don't have about an hour or more to devote to listening to our story. "Was it hard?" The easy answer here is always a resounding, "Yes!" I've never met someone who adopted, either internationally or domestically, that said everything was easy. What I don't usually get is the question, "Was what you went through worth it?"

It's hard to put an amount on worth. Dollar bills are a combination of cotton and linen. (That's why you can wash them and they don't deteriorate.) Dollar bills are technically not actually worth much at all. It's what the stamps on the bills represent and signify. $1. $5. $10. $50. $100. $1,000. Whatever. There's really not that much difference to the actual bills. Just something different gets stamped/printed on top of the bill.

When talking about worth, there is no way to determine how much life is worth. You can try to put a dollar amount to it. As in, put a stamp on it, but there is no way to put an amount on the impact of the father-son relationship that I have with Grayson. Honestly, I have already forgotten a lot about those three hard months. Not forgotten completely, that's why we took pictures and videos, but I have forgotten the hardships. Those hardships and despair have been replaced with other things now that so delight me as a father.

Laughing - Grayson's laugh is indeed infectious, especially when he is so tired that he's slap happy.

Hugs - Grayson will give hugs now. Not out of being told, but because he can display his emotions of thankfulness.

Kisses - An open mouth kiss because he just wants to kiss you.

His Height - His head is around my knees. Perfect to hug my leg. Also, perfect to just hang onto when he wants to be close to you.

"Dada" - The way he says "DaDa" just makes my heart melt.

Music - Grayson loves music and dances all the time.

TV - He loves watching "T." Mostly cartoons.

Naps - I love taking naps with him. The way he just wants to curl up in a ball in my arms or on my chest can lead me to tears.

Sleep - Lately, he hasn't been sleeping through the night. When I get up with him, which is not near as much as when Lindsay does, we go and sleep on the couch until he falls back asleep. I don't like these times at first because he's usually screaming, but when I pick him up out of his crib and he immediately stops crying because he knows it's me, it's touching.

Bathtime - He loves baths. I love playing with him. I've been cleaning under his neck and under his armpits by holding both ends of the washrug and pulling back and forth. It tickles him like crazy and it's so fun. Think two lumberjacks with a giant hand saw cutting down a tree. Grayson had took the washrag from me and it looks like he is cleaning under his neck like I was doing and Lindsay walks in. She gives me this "Why are you letting him choke himself to death?!" death stare that I thought was going to penetrate my skin. She's in the process of taking the washcloth away from him. I step in and tell her to wait because he was just cleaning under his neck. (Somethings need to be thought totally through some times. Hey, remember I'm new at this.)

Letters & Numbers - he's starting to pick up on a lot of letter and numbers. He can say and identify them. It's fun teaching him new things.

Words - Grayson is starting to repeat a lot of words that I say. Mostly one syllable words, but he also says some two syllable words as well. Watching a baby's mind think and learn has been really enlightening to me. I can see the process of his learning and how he is relating and making connections to each other.

Personality - I think he's going to be a prankster. I'm thinking he might get that from me, but he's a pretty funny guy. He laughs at a lot of things that are funny on TV and even some dry humor jokes while watching VeggieTales. He likes to tell people, "Hi." in Walmart. It always brings smiles to other people's faces.

Helpful - He likes to help others. He really likes dunking his dirty diapers in the trash. He'll also feed the dogs some food from either out of his hand, or he'll drop it from his high chair. The worst part (or best, determining how you look at it) is that he knows exactly what he is doing. He's getting rid of all the food on his tray so he can say, "All done." quicker. He will share his food occasionally with you as well.

I typically get to spend evenings and Saturday mornings with him. I love this time. I'm usually exhausted from school and then basketball practice, but I always feel like I get a second wind to just play with him.

Amen - Because he's starting to repeat a lot of things, he's picked up on "Amen." I love it.

Mooching - He's the biggest moocher of food I've ever seen. He will get passed from one person to the next if they are sitting/standing closer to what he wants.

Changes - I have seen a lot of things change about me since becoming a dad. I decided not to do as much school stuff on the weekends. Actually, it hasn't been much at all. I decided to not do as much school stuff during the week from home. It seems that every decision I make is influenced by Grayson. I know most people always say how having a child changes everything and I can attest to that, but I didn't think it would be this dramatic. It literally is every decision. The coolest thing about that is that it doesn't bother me at all. I decided to not have very many Saturday practices this winter. I have been a part of Saturday practices for, if you count my HS playing days, 14 years. Everything changes with a little one.

One year ago, I met Grayson. He has changed everything about me. He has taught me about life and what life actually means. After we left the airport, we drove about 1.5-2 more hours to the orphanage in the rain. We arrived in the middle of the night. I was so tired, but anticipation and adrenaline was pushing me onward. We got our luggage and walked up the stairs and entered through Ted's office so as to not disturb the others that were sleeping. We went into our room. Put our bags down and walked down the hall. We then walked down the steps leading to where all the babies were. Grayson was up waiting for us. That one moment when we met him will forever be ingrained into my memory. I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe he's 16 months old. I am so blessed to have a son like him. He has changed so much about who I am as a person. I am so thankful for those at the orphanage who cared and loved for him. For Ted and Bev and their leadership and love for children and people. For mine and Lindsay's family that does so much for us and him. For all the prayers, support, and donations that were given. Without all of these people, this story would have been so much different. Grayson's story continues to be written. My story as a father continues to be written. Our story as a family continues to be written. I just wonder what the next chapter holds? Whatever it is, I'm hanging on. Lord willing.

Since I left all my drugs at home on our trip and was not punished by death, (hehe) I can resoundingly say that being a dad is everything I imagined and more. Was the start of the journey hard? Yes. Was it worth it? It was, without a doubt, worth it.

- Pictures by Amanda Trebley Photography